by Jessica WildeAdoption stories usually begin like a fairy tale with a love at first sight anecdote. Two weary parents with blurry eyes looked and looked through the waiting child database and then they saw her. Their eyes lock on that beautiful baby girl’s image. “It’s her, our daughter!” They were in love! While this is a beautiful way for your child’s story home to begin, that is not how it happened for us. For us it was intense discernment, research and above all, prayer. We had three kids that we were homeschooling and dreams of showing them the world. So we took to the waiting child list like a matchmaker looking for the ideal match for our family. And I did fall in love with every child I saw, including one beautiful blind girl who sang “Jesus loves me” straight from her heart. But our search was to find a child that would be the best fit for not only our family but also for the child. “I am not Mother Teresa!” When I opened Chi's profile on the waiting child list, he was older than we wanted and appeared significantly more disabled than we planned on adopting. And those five words, “I am not Mother Teresa”, literally fell out of my mouth. But luckily for us, there was something about his video clips, his determination, and his smile that kept drawing us back to him. It was as if God was directing our way, leading us to Chi. When we finally decided to have a doctor review his file, unlike the other files she had reviewed for us, her opinions of Chi were glowing. He was learning to adapt. He was on track cognitively with his peers. He was amazing! But I was still scared. We didn’t have long to decide. It was Friday and Chi’s file was being returned to the shared list on Monday. We prayed, researched radial dysplasia, talked and prayed some more. Then, right before the office closed, we called Great Wall and gave them our verbal consent to pursue Chi’s adoption. Through the initial application process, Jason was an absolute mess. He doubted that adoption was even our path. But choosing Chi is what made me second guess our decision. Jason, however, was rock solid. “This is our son!” he insisted. But fear was choking me. Could I help Chi? Was his disability more than I could handle? Would adding him to our family be a disaster?
Despite my fears, that weekend we composed our Letter of Intent to China asking for pre-approval to adopt him. I didn't get much sleep that weekend. On Monday, I took Grace to band while Jason stayed home with the little kids. While she was in band, I walked through the grocery store in a dense fog. “What had we done?”, I thought. Then I saw her... She had curly blonde hair that was just starting to grow gray at the roots. She was around 45 years old. But most astonishing, she had bilateral radial aplasia just like Chi. I had never met anyone with this disability before. But here she was, beautiful, independent and strong. Every aisle I went down, she was there. She checked out her groceries right in front of me, paid the cashier and loaded her groceries back into her cart. In that moment, God gave me a glimpse of Chi’s potential. I only had to give him a chance. Then she walked out of H.E.B., and my fears vanished and were replaced with a mother’s hope for her child. The next nine months of our adoption were some of the most challenging spiritual times of our lives. But when we are challenged, we can choose to whither or we can grow stronger. Those five words at the beginning of our journey to Chi may have seemed harsh. But they are true. I am not Mother Teresa. I am Jessica and I am capable of far more than I ever imagined. It leaves me wondering, “What else can I do?” So what are you waiting for? What quest is God calling you to pursue? Maybe it's a change in vocation, a call to foster or adopt, a call to see the world, mission work, or maybe even to leave the comfort of your own backyard and work with the poor in your own neighborhood. Whatever it is, trust in God. Don’t let fear or doubt prevent you from doing God’s will. I can’t imagine my life without Chi. He brings joy and hope that I didn’t know was missing from my life. Now, when my sweet baby boy holds my hand, looks up at me, and squeals that he is “Mama’s bao bei Chi Yu”, I am utterly amazed at how lucky I am to be his Mom.
It's easy to get lost in the story of us saving Chi. But we too were saved! We were saved from our fears and doubts. We learned to put our total faith in God and to trust His plan for our life.
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On a MissionTwo passionate parents and their four children are excited to bring His Word to everyone in need while living a life of Gospel poverty as missionaries. They invite you to join them on a journey to encounter our global neighbors that Jesus commands us to love through works of charity and service. Archives
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