By Jessica WildeThe following testimony is a personal testimony of how Jason and I grew closer to the Lord and each other over the past several years. While they may be disputed, our decisions are based on our Catholic Faith. This story was not written to start a debate, and it was not written to chastise anyone for their personal decisions. This testimony was written solely to show how we came to a deeper understanding of our Faith and to glorify God for His miracle in our life. This is our miracle story!One afternoon in Costa Rica, one of our closest friends stopped by our house, anxious and confused. She said that the doctor had told her that if she gave birth to any more children that she would be committing a sin because she lived in poverty. I was shocked! As Mother Teresa says, "How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers.” But if I'm honest with myself and with you all, there was a time when we believed the same. When we found out that we were pregnant with Alex, we truly believed our family was complete and that we only had the financial resources available to have three kids. To clarify, Jason's salary was nearly six figures at that time, so we weren't poor. But we wanted to give our kids everything...dance classes, sports, world travels, best education, etc. So, having more kids to us meant having to sacrifice those worldly things that we wanted for our kids. A couple of weeks before Alex was born, Jason had a vasectomy. My labor with Alex was really scary and dangerous for me. We were even more happy with our decision to have a vasectomy because we didn't want to put me at risk again. Fast forward a couple years, we were called by Jesus to not only say we were ‘pro-life’, but start acting like a pro-life family through the gift of adoption. The road to adoption opened our eyes even further to the plight of the poor. It was at this point that we gave our lives to the Lord to serve the poorest of the poor, and in this Spirit that we discovered Family Missions Company. We went to FMC's Come and See discernment retreat. We were amazed at the poor missionary families who were choosing to live Gospel poverty and serve the poor. These were large families with 5+ kids and were happier than most families that we had seen in the secular world! The parents were giving their kids so much more than the things of the world by giving them God, family time, and service. While speaking to one mom, my eyes were finally opened to the horror and sin of Jason's vasectomy. We were denying the author of life and our loving creator the opportunity to use our marriage to create life. A side effect of our choice was that it also negatively affected our relationship in the bedroom. Sex had become for us a completely physical act of love, void of the gift of God’s spark of life. It was more of a ‘transactional’ act of love, kind of like when you rub your partner’s back in hopes that they will return the favor. In fact, we have read how this is the same mentality that sparked the sexual revolution of the past century - the separation of procreation from the act of romantic life. Sex has become something to be bartered or won by one partner or the other, which has now led to commoditization, sexual consumerism, and even more selfish violence over sex (c.f. Camosy, Resisting Throwaway Culture). In a very real way, it is taking God out of our marriage. Every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible" is intrinsically evil. Thus the innate language that expresses the total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contraception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other. This leads not only to a positive refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of conjugal love, which is called upon to give itself in personal totality. (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2370) After this revelation, I was ready to reverse the vasectomy right then but Jason wasn't yet. He was fearful of my life and of me dying in childbirth. We made a heartfelt confession. But I truly felt God was asking us for more. With great respect for Jason, I prayed and gave him time to make his own discernment. One of the first talks during our missionary training is one about missionary commitments, called "Be the Bacon". In the talk, the following anecdote is given: If missions were breakfast, would God ask you to be the cow, to be the chicken, or to be the pig? The key point here is that while all three contribute to a good breakfast, it is only the pig that gives the total sacrifice of its life to “be the bacon”. God wants us to be the bacon. He wants us to give our lives to Him. This talk affirmed our life long vocation for missions but also opened Jason's heart to understand my willingness to bear another child for God if He desired. We finally had a desire, as St. John Paul II put it in his “theology of the body”, to give each other a mutual and total gift of self. Over Christmas break, between Intake training and being sent into the field, we used our personal savings for a vasectomy reversal by a Catholic doctor in New Braunfels who offers the reversal at an affordable cost. The procedure was one of the most Holy moments of our lives. Jason was awake the entire time with me looking into his eyes. The doctor sang Christian music and prayed during the entire procedure. I felt Jesus, Mary, the Saints and Angels with us cheering us on. Spouses share in the creative power and fatherhood of God. Married couples should regard it as their proper mission to transmit human life and to educate their children; they should realize that they are thereby cooperating with the love of God the Creator and are, in a certain sense, its interpreters. They will fulfill this duty with a sense of human and Christian responsibility. (CCC 2367) We went to Costa Rica with big dreams of sharing Christ's love, helping the poor and growing the kingdom literally through making a baby for God. But then we were thrown a curveball. We were devastated when we found out that I had cancer. But we trusted the Lord's goodness and mercy. At my first oncology appointment in Louisiana, the oncologist advised us to harvest my eggs because the chance of me being fertile after chemo was unlikely. This was our first real temptation with IVF, but by this point we had already learned how this was just another tool that humanity has created to play God, and that it reinforces a ‘right’ that we feel we have to procreate, even when it is physically impossible or unlikely. We have also read research that showed how couples who adopted instead of a successful IVF had overall better relationships (Andrew Hough, How Adoption for IVF Couples Could Lead to a Happier Life). I knew this was a sin and told him no. This was God's baby not ours. So, if God wanted us to have more children, I trusted that I would still be fertile after chemo, or that He would place a child with us through adoption. We placed our miracle baby in God's hands. The Gospel shows that physical sterility is not an absolute evil. Spouses who still suffer from infertility after exhausting legitimate medical procedures should unite themselves with the Lord's Cross, the source of all spiritual fecundity. They can give expression to their generosity by adopting abandoned children or performing demanding services for others. (CCC 2379) If I got pregnant during chemo, I would have had to stop treatments. We did not want this to happen, so we abstained from sex for 6 months. It was as if we were making up all the time that we should have been abstaining all those years. Honestly, it was difficult. But our marriage became stronger with a renewed focus, love and commitment built on God. We began intentionally setting aside time for a coffee date every afternoon to keep our marriage and friendship strong. Miraculously, I kept my period until the last chemo treatment and then lost it. I was sad and began having pre-menopausal symptoms. This was followed with multiple hospital stays due to pneumonia from my suppressed immune system. Three months later, Grace received the sacrament of confirmation. The Mass was filled with the Holy Spirit. Each child that was confirmed seemed to rest in the Spirit when Archbishop Gustavo laid his hands on them. Besides the cancer and losing my period, I expressed to Jason that I wished the Bishop had prayed over me, but we were already driving home. Five minutes later, we found out we had left Grace’s Confirmation certificate at the church, and we turned the car around. I walked into the darkened church and ran into the deacon’s wife. She helped me turn on the lights and find the certificate. But unaware of my wish, she told me that the Archbishop should pray over me. She took me over to him and peace descended on me as he prayed. The next day, my period returned. It has been a long 2.5 years since Jason's vasectomy reversal. I think of Sara from the Bible - she was 90 when she gave birth to her miracle, Issac. Now, that's a lot of waiting! We have even tried adopting again, but because of the many unjust restrictions placed on adoptive parents (and, honestly, a very consumerist model that overtaken yet another beautiful gift of love), we are disqualified due to health, wealth, and depending on the adoption route, age. But God's timing is always perfect. We found out that we are pregnant a few weeks ago. Thanks be to God! Our miracle baby is on its way and will be arriving January 2, 2021 (likely December 2020). We are overwhelmed with joy! Sacred Scripture and the Church's traditional practice see in large families a sign of God's blessing and the parents' generosity. (CCC 2373)
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by Grace Wilde When you take a deep breath, do you ever think of how important that air is in this world? Are we truly thankful to God for the air that permits us to exist? Think of all those things that could never happen without the atmosphere around us. If that air was gone and/or taken over by some other toxic gas we would never survive. The sad thing is, that unless we have a true change in our hearts and in our world, this could happen. This is called air pollution. I experienced it first-hand many years ago when I visited Shanghai with my family. Even wearing a mask, breathing felt unbearable and the city advertised as fun and shiny, was barely seen, covered in a thick layer of toxic fumes. I realized there that air pollution has become a real and dangerous problem all around the world. The violence present in our hearts, wounded by sin, is also reflected in the symptoms of sickness evident in the soil, in the water, in the air and in all forms of life. This is why the earth herself, burdened and laid waste, is among the most abandoned and maltreated of our poor; she “groans in travail” (Rom 8:22).” (Laudato Si’ 2) Air Pollution happens when toxic gasses or liquids such as CO2, Methane, Nitrous Oxide, and Ozone are released carelessly into the atmosphere through the burning of substances such as petroleum and natural gas, which humans over the last 100 years have come to depend on. Most of this is burned through factories, transportation, and home heating and cooling. Once these toxic fumes are released into the atmosphere they may be taken anywhere by the wind. After this three distinct things may happen. The first one is that this toxic air falls on a city in the form of smog. This often happens “when mountains or tall buildings prevent air pollution from spreading out” [1]. This is part of the reason why we often hear of smog in countries like China who have high population density and many cities. When this toxic air is inhaled it causes many health problems. “Ambient (outdoor) air pollution accounts for an estimated 4.2 million deaths per year due to stroke, heart disease, lung cancer and chronic respiratory diseases.” (WHO, [2]) And even those who survive the impacts of smog end up with very weak lungs and asthma. The next possible outcome is acid rain. Acid rain is when some of the gasses become trapped in rain clouds. When the rain clouds let go of the water droplets, they also let go of this gas which, mixed with the water, is liquid and toxic to the environment. Acid rain does not have any immediate effects but, over time direct effects can be seen. Some effects can be, less nutrient water hurting the environment in those waters. It also affects trees, “dead or dying trees are a common sight in areas affected by acid rain. Acid rain leaches aluminum from the soil. That aluminum may be harmful to plants as well as animals. Acid rain also removes minerals and nutrients from the soil that trees need to grow.” (EPA, [3]) Humans are not affected directly but overtime, health problems tend to increase in influenced areas. The final effect of air pollution, but probably the hardest to stop is Global Warming. “Global warming is the long-term heating of Earth’s climate system observed since the pre-industrial period (between 1850 and 1900) due to human activities, primarily fossil fuel burning, which increases heat-trapping greenhouse gas levels in Earth’s atmosphere.” (NASA, [4]) When toxic gasses in the atmospere do not fall back down in acid rain, they are trapped in the atmosphere preventing heat from escaping. We are literally smothering the earth, and it will be hard to turn back. We show our respect for the Creator by our stewardship of creation. Care for the earth is not just an Earth Day slogan, it is a requirement of our faith. We are called to protect people and the planet, living our faith in relationship with all of God’s creation. This environmental challenge has fundamental moral and ethical dimensions that cannot be ignored.” (USCCB, [5]) That does not mean we ignore this climate crisis. We must take action at once before it is too late. This will not only make this world more beautiful and cleaner but it will prevent any more pandemics like this one!!! Did you know that our lack of care of the environment is what started and is nurturing this virus. It has been proven that this virus came from bats in the jungles in china. The virus did not hurt the bats, they did not even show symptoms. But then when we started in the US to buy more and more stuff from china. The people there were forced by us to cut down the forest where the bats were living in order to fill the demand. Then these bats which were living peacefully before, were forced to live among humans. And that is when the virus came to humans. All because of our own greed and selfishness. Unless we think more environmentally friendly we will have more and more viruses like this one. But how do we do this? Here are three simple commencing habits we can make to end this worldwide calamity: Buy Prudently: One of air pollution's greatest contributors is the exhausts from factories. Now we cannot shut factories down. But we can limit the ways we are obtaining the objects these factories make. For example, before you buy something think, do you need this? Is there something you already have that could supplement this? If no, then you check resale stores for this product you might need. Then finally, if necessary you may go buy from Wal-Mart or stuff like that. This may seem like a lot of work, but because of this you are saving money and the environment. Drive Prudently: Another grave contributor to air pollution and global warming is car exhausts. How do we stop that, we have to get places? Well we can walk when we are only traveling short distances. Bike if you can, for medium distances. And when the distances are really far, take public transportation or ride with someone else. This really helps this cause and gets you a daily exercise on the way to work. Speak Out: Now this is what over time will stop air pollution for good and it is not as hard as it looks. You can buy and drive prudently, but one person doing this does not help the overall effect of air pollution. But, if we do these things and share them with everyone you meet. We will make a difference and this world will truly be a cleaner place. Now there are many other things you can do, but just start with this and the rest will come sooner or later. For creation awaits with eager expectation the revelation of the children of God” (Romans 8:19) So, air pollution is a problem even if it has not affected us yet. But, just because it does not affect us doesn't mean that we do not do anything about it. For by the time we are affected by this calamity, it could be too late to turn back. So today let us speak out for our Mother Earth whose voice has been silenced. Let us take care of this gift God has truly given us, not for personal wealth, but for us to use and reuse. So as to constantly continue in this beautiful form of praise to him.
Other resources: Laudato Si’ By Pope Francis [1] National Geographic on Air pollution [2] WHO on Air Pollution [3] NASA on Global Warming [4] EPA on Acid Rain [5] US Conference of Catholic Bishops on Care for Creation by Jason WildeThe Darkness has begun. There will be no dawn. - The Lord of the Rings
The best way to divide a people is to make them believe that another person is an enemy. One of the fruits borne of the Spanish Flu in 1918 was a growing sense of individualism. Aided by wounds from the Great War, this caused, among many other things, most Western countries to become suspicious of one another, to mistrust any person or thing that did not belong, and to spurn anything foreign. In Germany, the plight was even worse due to a struggling war recovery effort which saw few friendly helpers. A common enemy was needed to unite a battered and wounded country. The Jewish people were as convenient as any - after all, they had been known to be protective, to isolate themselves, and they often held financially beneficial positions. For decades, there had been gossip that these people had a secret agenda to take control and destroy a way of life that Germans took a lot of pride in. Occasionally, stories of exploitation, mostly overblown, were printed, and most of the readers just looked on. But in the formidable years following 1918, a young Adolf Hitler had already begun working on propaganda that sought to identify 'traitors' who caused the defeat of Germany. It was this propaganda, or 'chatter', that seeded his absolute power 15 years later, largely due to divisions and inaction among the majority who opposed Nazism - divisions that were caused by the same propaganda. I recount this history not to condemn or name anyone as Hitler or the Third Reich (I've been accused of this before), but to point out ploys which darkness uses to plant its roots. I'm not talking about any single physical being. This is a darkness that cuts to the soul of every living person, being, and creature. It is one that is reborn in every age, under a different name or disguise, but always with the same intent - to divide us and pit one against another. However, I do observe roots beginning to spread again amidst a similar background of sickness, destruction, and anguish. There is again a small but very loud 'chatter' going on in our social media, in everyday conversation, and in the news that tries to convince us that some person, group, or demographic is our enemy, and that we must be on guard against any competing suggestion. Many times, we don't even know the source of this chatter and gossip, but we are happy to share if it agrees with our belief about a particular enemy. I observe that many of the same tactics and attacks which were historically used against the Church now have renewed vigor within the Church... At one time, the Church battled relativism - a belief that what is true for me is not necessarily the same as what is true for you or anyone else - a selfish argument that sought to divide the Church with moral differences. But now there is what Pope Francis calls a 'practical relativism', where everything is irrelevant unless it serves one's own interests - not only morally, but also financially, legally, politically, conveniently, or even spiritually: 'This' issue is not important because 'My' issue is preeminent, 'This' is not the rite of worship because it is not how 'I' see God, 'This' is bad politics because it doesn't help 'Me', or 'This' is the way it should be because 'I' am comfortable and secure. For decades, we've seen the ill effects of individualism - that what I do is my own business and in the name of personal freedom. This ploy birthed a sexual revolution, a drug boom, newly morphed godless spiritualities, and the subsequent breakdown of family and adoption of birth control and abortion as a norm of life. But now there is a tendency to discredit any kind of communal thought as an attack on this individualism, even among the Church who only lives in communion. Former self-centered battle cries for abortion and sexual freedom are now being used to rally for all kinds of extremist political ideologies, economic interests, and even religious freedoms. If you don't believe me, then just take a look at some of the arguments being used to fight against pandemic life-saving measures such as social distancing, wearing masks, and stay-at-home orders, and then see if they can be used to justify 'My body, my choice'. Then there is the idolatry of money. For the past 150 years, famous names such as G.K. Chesterton, C.S. Lewis, and eight Catholic popes have spoken caution against trust in economic models which do not value human life and dignity. Much of the 20th century was spent defending against communism as many saw how it silenced the Church's views on worker's rights and dignity. But now we see the same neglect for workers as they are seen only as pieces in a machine to be controlled (and now sacrificed) by the very economy they support. If there is anything that the economic collapse due to COVID-19 has shown us, it is that capitalism, unchecked and supported in large by mega-corporations and political pandering, can be just as neglectful of worker's rights as its socialist counterpart. People should never be ordered to work against their will, especially when it comes at a risk to their life. "(God) calls human beings to their full realization and to freedom from all forms of enslavement" (Evangelii Gaudium, 57). But, in order to reverse these sins, we must make personal sacrifices in our own support of this system - in our finances, in conveniences, and in our way of thinking about being a holy consumer. Big Business and State Socialism are very much alike.” - G.K. Chesterton, April 10, 1926 I don't want everyone to think that I'm a doomsdayer. In fact, I believe there is a Light shining in the darkness that the darkness cannot overcome. There is still a large majority of good and caring people who love their neighbors and live lives of selflessness. But just as in the 1930's in Germany, we must not be the divided and inactive majority who hides our light under a basket. It also means that Light is not necessarily coincident with prosperity, convenience, or 'the way it used to be'. Suffering has always been a part of the Christian life, and we cannot confuse personal happiness, prosperity, and health with living in relationship with God who cares for the poor, the outcast, and the suffering. The culture of prosperity deadens us." - Pope Francis, Evangelii Gaudium, 54 |
On a MissionTwo passionate parents and their four children are excited to bring His Word to everyone in need while living a life of Gospel poverty as missionaries. They invite you to join them on a journey to encounter our global neighbors that Jesus commands us to love through works of charity and service. Archives
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