by Jessica WildeAs 2016 comes to a close, I reflect on the tangle of mixed emotions we have experienced this last year. Obviously, we experienced tremendous joy when meeting and getting to know our son. When our kids bonded with him, our hearts overflowed. We experienced joy when seeing other families bring their adopted sons and daughters home. We felt loved by our village as they helped us adjust to life as a family of six. But through this joy, our eyes were opened to the deep sadness and pain that exists in our world. There are countless kids in orphanages around the world who continue to yearn for not only the basic necessities for life but, most importantly, the love of a family. Kids are abused and neglected. War tears families apart. Hate keeps people from loving their neighbors, both foreign and domestic. Fear keeps many from even trying to help. But, it’s the everyday bullying and hate toward each other that astonished me the most this year. "It’s been through our following the Lord in growing our family through adoption that we have experienced the most open, challenging and at times hurtful opinions from the world around us. There’s also nothing that makes my heart beat faster than having the world question my family or His call upon our family. I’m learning my response in these moments needs to always be first to refocus, rest in His call and stand…keeping my eyes up." (No Hands But Ours) I keep my eyes up when I hear... “He looks like T-Rex.” “He looks like a deer.” People have referred to our international adoption as “importing a need”. “My family has two kids. We choose quality over quantity.” I’ve been told that I “should hide his arms with long sleeves so nobody would know.” Others just point and stare and then ignore him when he notices and tries to tells them “Hello”. Some friends even stopped talking to me when they found out we were adopting internationally. And the many racist comments… One lady even put a soup bowl on her head and mocked Chinese farmers right in front of my kids. I am a lover not a fighter, so these insensitive and hate-filled moments usually leave me tongue tied and heart broken. But, I’m learning to focus on what really matters - what the world thinks of our choice to adopt Chi, or what God thinks? What people think of Chi’s abilities or his potential, or how much God loves him just as he is? Recently, our priest inspired us to look past the golden Byzantine icon of Mary surrounded by cherubs holding the infant Jesus. He suggested that we instead reflect and relate to her life as a Mother. She was not only criticized for being an unwed Mom but her heart was pierced with a sword every time her son suffered. How did Mary handle all the hate and sadness in her life? How did she respond when she was ridiculed for being a unwed Mom? How did she endure the pain of watching her son suffered? The answer is Faith. She had Faith in God and in His plan for her life and her Son’s life. So she stood by his side knowing that her heart would be pierced by the pains and hate her Son would suffer. But her love for Him kept her close to Him so she could help Him as only a Mother can with her presence. Sometimes that’s all a Mom can do. We can’t take away our kid’s pain but we can be there so they don’t have to endure it alone. So as 2017 begins, I aspire to be more like Mary and put my faith and hope in God’s will. I will help my family learn to respond to all the hate they encounter on a daily basis with love and kindness. I will build up Chi Yu’s self esteem at every opportunity I get. I will teach my family to pray for those who have hurt us. I will continue to walk by my son’s side, and hold his hand through the good and the bad. I will remind him of all the many beautiful moments, and friendships in his life. I will have him remember... The beautiful little girl with golden pig tails who grabbed his hand, pulled him onto the dance floor, and became his first friend at church. His friend, Josef, who is always the first to greet him at our co-op with a happy “ni hao” (Hello in Chinese). The nurses who smiled at him as he kicked his soccer ball up and down the hall while we waited for his blood draw. They later said that watching his joy was the best part of their day. The neighbors in our condo who told us that hearing our kids play outside is “like listening to the beautiful sound of birds chirping”. The many people who stop me just to say that my “family is beautiful.” Maybe my heart hurts like Mary’s did. And yes, I dread the day when Chi Yu will have enough English to understand all of these mean comments. But I realize that I can’t stop people from being racist or mean. I love Chi Yu so much. He is worth every sword to this Mama’s heart. He is beautifully and wonderfully made. He is my beloved son. Now, if you’ve read this far, I have a New Year challenge for you. When you see someone who looks, thinks, or acts “different”, instead of staring, judging them, ignoring them, or whispering rude comments behind their backs, simply smile and say hello. It’s amazing how a simple gesture like this can brighten someone’s day. There is no greater disability in society, than the inability to see a person as more. (Robert M. Hensel) As for my family, I know He has more wonderful plans for our family in 2017. We just need to continue to listen with a prayer filled heart and not let fear get in our way of being God’s light in the world.
Happy New Year!
3 Comments
Sandra
1/1/2017 03:38:01 pm
Never fear.. you are all doing a wonderful job. You have been blessed.. As long as you have our Lord there to guide you, things will turn out alright.
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SANDY ANGLE
1/2/2017 09:28:26 am
Beautiful!! Love, Prayers and Blessings to your family!
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Len Brammeier
1/21/2017 08:03:41 am
Thanks for sharing your experiences and beautiful thoughts. May we all grow in the love of God and see his love in all the people we meet.
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On a MissionTwo passionate parents and their four children are excited to bring His Word to everyone in need while living a life of Gospel poverty as missionaries. They invite you to join them on a journey to encounter our global neighbors that Jesus commands us to love through works of charity and service. Archives
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