by Jessica WildeAs 2016 comes to a close, I reflect on the tangle of mixed emotions we have experienced this last year. Obviously, we experienced tremendous joy when meeting and getting to know our son. When our kids bonded with him, our hearts overflowed. We experienced joy when seeing other families bring their adopted sons and daughters home. We felt loved by our village as they helped us adjust to life as a family of six. But through this joy, our eyes were opened to the deep sadness and pain that exists in our world. There are countless kids in orphanages around the world who continue to yearn for not only the basic necessities for life but, most importantly, the love of a family. Kids are abused and neglected. War tears families apart. Hate keeps people from loving their neighbors, both foreign and domestic. Fear keeps many from even trying to help. But, it’s the everyday bullying and hate toward each other that astonished me the most this year. "It’s been through our following the Lord in growing our family through adoption that we have experienced the most open, challenging and at times hurtful opinions from the world around us. There’s also nothing that makes my heart beat faster than having the world question my family or His call upon our family. I’m learning my response in these moments needs to always be first to refocus, rest in His call and stand…keeping my eyes up." (No Hands But Ours) I keep my eyes up when I hear... “He looks like T-Rex.” “He looks like a deer.” People have referred to our international adoption as “importing a need”. “My family has two kids. We choose quality over quantity.” I’ve been told that I “should hide his arms with long sleeves so nobody would know.” Others just point and stare and then ignore him when he notices and tries to tells them “Hello”. Some friends even stopped talking to me when they found out we were adopting internationally. And the many racist comments… One lady even put a soup bowl on her head and mocked Chinese farmers right in front of my kids. I am a lover not a fighter, so these insensitive and hate-filled moments usually leave me tongue tied and heart broken. But, I’m learning to focus on what really matters - what the world thinks of our choice to adopt Chi, or what God thinks? What people think of Chi’s abilities or his potential, or how much God loves him just as he is? Recently, our priest inspired us to look past the golden Byzantine icon of Mary surrounded by cherubs holding the infant Jesus. He suggested that we instead reflect and relate to her life as a Mother. She was not only criticized for being an unwed Mom but her heart was pierced with a sword every time her son suffered. How did Mary handle all the hate and sadness in her life? How did she respond when she was ridiculed for being a unwed Mom? How did she endure the pain of watching her son suffered? The answer is Faith. She had Faith in God and in His plan for her life and her Son’s life. So she stood by his side knowing that her heart would be pierced by the pains and hate her Son would suffer. But her love for Him kept her close to Him so she could help Him as only a Mother can with her presence. Sometimes that’s all a Mom can do. We can’t take away our kid’s pain but we can be there so they don’t have to endure it alone. So as 2017 begins, I aspire to be more like Mary and put my faith and hope in God’s will. I will help my family learn to respond to all the hate they encounter on a daily basis with love and kindness. I will build up Chi Yu’s self esteem at every opportunity I get. I will teach my family to pray for those who have hurt us. I will continue to walk by my son’s side, and hold his hand through the good and the bad. I will remind him of all the many beautiful moments, and friendships in his life. I will have him remember... The beautiful little girl with golden pig tails who grabbed his hand, pulled him onto the dance floor, and became his first friend at church. His friend, Josef, who is always the first to greet him at our co-op with a happy “ni hao” (Hello in Chinese). The nurses who smiled at him as he kicked his soccer ball up and down the hall while we waited for his blood draw. They later said that watching his joy was the best part of their day. The neighbors in our condo who told us that hearing our kids play outside is “like listening to the beautiful sound of birds chirping”. The many people who stop me just to say that my “family is beautiful.” Maybe my heart hurts like Mary’s did. And yes, I dread the day when Chi Yu will have enough English to understand all of these mean comments. But I realize that I can’t stop people from being racist or mean. I love Chi Yu so much. He is worth every sword to this Mama’s heart. He is beautifully and wonderfully made. He is my beloved son. Now, if you’ve read this far, I have a New Year challenge for you. When you see someone who looks, thinks, or acts “different”, instead of staring, judging them, ignoring them, or whispering rude comments behind their backs, simply smile and say hello. It’s amazing how a simple gesture like this can brighten someone’s day. There is no greater disability in society, than the inability to see a person as more. (Robert M. Hensel) As for my family, I know He has more wonderful plans for our family in 2017. We just need to continue to listen with a prayer filled heart and not let fear get in our way of being God’s light in the world.
Happy New Year!
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by Jason Wilde“I'll pray for you.” It's a phrase that is so common now, we don't even think about it. Got the flu? “I'll pray for you.” Going to be tested for a rare disease? “I'll pray for you.” Tough test coming up? “I'll pray for you.” Job interview? “I'll pray for you.” In fact, reading through my Facebook feed, it is so common in some threads that it seems like the phrase “I'll pray for you” has just become another way to say “Good luck!” Taking a weekend trip to your in-laws? “I'll pray for you.” Feeling really down this week? “I'll pray for you.” Got in an argument with me? “I'll pray for you.” Taking all the kids alone for the weekend? “I'll pray for you.” With all the atrocities in our world, it has even become common to pray for people that we've never met! Your sister having is a baby? “I'll pray for her.” Uncle going to rehab again? “I'll pray for him.” That poor family sleeping at the gas station? “Let's pray for them.” Babies being aborted? “We pray for them.” So, let's say you actually *do* remember to stop for a minute and say a quick prayer… “God, I pray that you could help that family who lost everything in a fire. They deserve better. Amen.” Is that it? Is that all it takes to pray for someone? This reminds me of a popular e-mail management style called ‘zero inbox’. The idea is that you keep your e-mail inbox empty at all times by immediately categorizing, tagging, and/or responding to all incoming e-mail as soon as they arrive. Create task (Pray for xx), write message to God (God, please help xx), send, and forget…awesome, now I can worry about the things that I can control, because I have faith and trust in God. It also makes me think of one of those GodSpeaks billboards on the way to Lubbock:
So, where does this phrase come from? Psalm 55:22 is a popular, catchy verse, but a more insightful source is 1 Peter 5:7 - “Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you.” But, in order to understand what this verse means, we must step back and understand the context. This verse is the conclusion of a passage asking a Christian community to be humble and listen to their appointed Christian leaders and teachers:
So, the passage is about humility, and it says that only in subjection and humility should you give all your problems to Him. Humble yourself, submit yourself, be willing to do what God asks of you, and only then, let go of your problems. You see, the problem with zero inbox is that, while it allows you to remove all worries and concerns from your mind, it is an “out of sight, out of mind” methodology, meaning that once you click 'Send’, it is immediately purged from memory, no possibility of immediate feedback. It is not an effective two-way communication method. Once you send your prayer, the only way God can respond is by catching your undivided attention again, and by then, you've probably forgotten what question he is answering, resulting in yet another “I'll pray for you.”
Prayer is a time to talk with God...but as in many of society’s problems, we forget that “The secret to talking is listening.” (We bought a zoo). Prayer is not the time for us to ask of God, but for him to ask of us. You can’t just simply ‘give’ your problems to God, because then in your mind, it isn’t your problem anymore, and you have removed the possibility of God directing you to a solution. So, if any of the GodSpeaks marketing people happen to be reading this, you missed a vital part of the ad...it should say:
A similar problem exists when atheists attack prayer, saying it doesn’t help and doesn’t solve problems. Essentially, they have taken “I’ll pray for you” out of the equation. Now, an atheist could still go help a person in need and be doing His will without even knowing it - this is the beauty of God’s divine mercy. This atheist could be serving God’s people while a self proclaimed Christian has simply ‘prayed’ and moved on. But the problem comes when a person acts without listening to God, and in this way, that person becomes a god helping only those he feels worthy. So, the next time you promise to pray for God to help your friend who has pneumonia and is dealing with her 2 kids while her husband is on a work trip, try asking God for an answer, and listen. Maybe instead of prayer-mailing someone else’s problem on God and then running off like it’s the weekend, you will hear God’s response, which could very well be “Well, are you going to help?” There are many problems in our world, and yes, we should pray for every single one of them. But, remember that prayer should invite a response from God that can change us and help us solve the world's problems, one prayer at a time. by Jason and Jessica WildeWe had only been in Beijing for a few hours. Our kids were jet lagged and ready for bed. We stepped off the crowded subway, walked through a lush green park filled with cherry blossoms and into the hutong - a traditional Chinese neighborhood that has, over the past 50 or so years, degraded into poor living conditions for many lower class workers in China’s biggest cities. Weaving through the tight labyrinth of streets that are only wide enough for one car and yet convey a constant stream of various types of motorized traffic zipping by our left shoulders, we were amazed at the multitude of odd jobs that residents of these hutongs would do for what was apparently a poverty income level. As the day was ending, we became scared. Here we were with our 3 babies (7, 5, and 3 years old at the time), and it was getting dark and cold. This bed & breakfast was elusive for these tired non-Chinese speakers, and we only had a poorly marked map showing about 1 of every 3 alleys in this hutong. The sun set and we started to panic. Were we safe? Did this place exist, or were we swindled? How long before our kids fall apart into one giant tantrum? And then, we noticed a small flashing neon sign at the far end of the street - one that stood out from the otherwise greyness around us, and more importantly, had English words on it matching the name on our map. Over the next 5 days, we slept, ate and shopped in the hutongs. Our personal space was invaded. People would reach out to touch our kids’ hair and grab them for a picture. If we were in a hurry, we had to tuck the kids’ hair into their jacket to avoid being noticed. In one renovated and particularly trendy alley, we found a counter serving fish pizza in the shape of an ice cream cone. As Jason was taking care of our order, a large crowd of people formed a circle around the kids, taking pictures of them eating their fish pizza cones. We were both physically separated from them, and my heart started to pound. But this was all part of our journey, and it created the exciting stories our kids still share. It was here that we found a vibrance that still sticks in our memories as a characteristic of Beijing. Sadly, few hutongs still exist as housing in Beijing, since most of the them were torn down and the poor pushed out of the city in the name of commercialization. Because of this, hutong tourism is ‘a thing’ for tourists. I’ll never forget seeing them, on their one hour pedicab hutong tour. The tourists were being carted around, wide-eyed, sipping on juju juice and taking pictures. It was as if they were on a safari and the poor were the antelope. Why are guided tours and ‘all-inclusive’ vacationing so popular? I’m sure there are many reasons, dating back to when the first guided ‘expeditions’ into wild territory were advertised to the elite and adventurous. Convenience definitely is a factor, and many are willing to outsource planning to save them time. But, even at a more basic level, why does there even need to be a plan? Why can’t we just go out like a freelance adventurer, without a plan or a care in the world? Fear We’re afraid that without a plan, something will ‘go wrong’. And by ‘go wrong’, I mean, it will make you uncomfortable in some way. We’re afraid that we might get lost, might not see the most picturesque street, can’t order a pad thai from the street vendor, or see something that makes us uncomfortable. We are so afraid of our own instincts that we will even outsource planning to a ‘guided’ or ‘all-inclusive’ service - one which assumes all risk, or at least makes us feel like there isn’t any. Fear can be a good thing - it is an innate sense that alerts us when something isn’t right. But the time in which we must be fearful of everything new and different is a relic of a time when, in order to survive, we lived in small tribes and villages. In this way, fear also prevents us from experiencing anything new and different - and this severely limits our ability to live a Christian life, one in which Jesus calls us to be the good Samaritan and love all of humanity - even those who are new and different. Going on ‘resort’ vacations is like dropping a $100 bill in the collection basket and doing nothing else - it gives you the high of feeling like you are doing your part, helping a good cause, and making you feel good. It is the safe thing to do. But, it also deliberately isolates you from the real world, a world in which there are no orderly lines, or well paid attendants, or high fences to protect you from the outside - and protect you from seeing the outside, lest you feel uncomfortable. It allows you to disconnect yourself from that which you are trying to help - real people, and real problems. In fact, many destinations intentionally isolate you from the real world, surrounding you with their synthetic, sanitized version that gives you a feeling of euphoria (and helps loosen your grip on the wallet a little). Fear is not a Christian attitude (Pope Francis) In order to overcome evil, we must put ourselves at risk. We must be able to remove fear from the equation not by avoiding it, but by confronting it. If we want to help the poor, we must meet the poor. You can’t serve God in Disney World. Now, you may say "If I help make lunches for the homeless or give to the Food Bank or Goodwill, then aren’t I helping the poor?" Absolutely yes. There always needs to be financial contributors, just as there needs to be resorts for people to disconnect - but these should be an integral part of a well rounded view of the world, one in which you can also be so comfortable with those whom you are helping that you feel connected with them, and only in this state will you truly love and care for your neighbor. It’s not that “It’s a small world” is a bad idea, but it is the absence of reality which makes one think that the only thing we need to solve world hunger, poverty, violence, and inequalities is to smile and sing a annoyingly catchy song (and wave at the tourists floating by). So, the next time you decide to take some time off, or even have a free weekend, I challenge you to do something that makes you afraid. Instead of calling a taxi at the airport or driving to the park downtown, take a bus or subway. Roll down your window and hand a bottle of water to the man on the street corner. Buy some extra snacks to give to the homeless woman on the way to your hotel. Do your own research and try to cut out a guided tour or two. Let faith guide you to others' lives on your travels. We must open our doors, our fingerprint encoded security gates, and our high walls and allow ourselves to be uncomfortable in order to see the neighbors who really need our help. By Grace WildeHi, I am Grace. My family and I travel around the world. It is fun to travel. I love to learn about the cultures, the history, the language, and trying new food. But how did we do this? Weren’t we scared? It is true that we were scared. But we did not let fear overcome us. Fear is like a thorn in the garden. Someone steps in it and it digs deep into one's foot causing them to abandon their job in the garden and let the thorns swallow more. You have to have faith. Faith is like the flowers on the bushes that tell you that with God you can do things that you did not know you could do. So, before our adventures, we had two cars, we were homeschooled, and three times a year we went on a quick trip domestically. But one day my mom and dad talked about traveling the world. “It will cost a lot of money” said my Dad. “We would have to sell our car” said my Mom. In the end, we had faith that it would be fun and safe. We sold one car and bore our cross as a one car family. Finally, we were on our way with a big adventure in front of us. We did not let fear overcome us and had faith came as easy as 1-2-3. But, through weeks of prayer and thought we could say “We are going to travel.” |
On a MissionTwo passionate parents and their four children are excited to bring His Word to everyone in need while living a life of Gospel poverty as missionaries. They invite you to join them on a journey to encounter our global neighbors that Jesus commands us to love through works of charity and service. Archives
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